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The Third One

by Jugghead

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Practice Shots A lotta people don’t understand what I can do with a metaphor, When I say a line that makes you wonder what I said it for, Mad because I mastered the universe like I’m skeletor Double g is knocking so why don’tcha go and get the door? Cuz when I enter the building it’s like a million In small bills delivered to your children After the reading of your will, when you’ve been killed like Pillman, So I’m a loose cannon, like Mariah’s man was cheating, But I still win. Thank god, if I didn’t change I’d be with an illiterate dame getting some brain, Making movies to disrespect you like citizen kane with the title ‘this kid is a lame: he should be ashamed’, When I die, I’m gonna be in xanadu screaming rosebud Drowning In a pool of your blood, you wanna rock after me? Wear some noseplugs, cuz I’m the sh… Got a lawn? I’m the one that you need to fertilize it with, get a grip; Practice shots, when I drop these Lyrics that;ll make you call the cops. Practice shots, when I drop these practice shots, practice shots. Criminal syllables in your digital stereo next to your cereal will have you spitting out your cheerios I tell a rapper who don't wannabe lyrical You don't k ow what you're missing bro. Your rapping style is pitiful I rap cuz I just like the sound of my voice. I rap to entertain myself regardless of your choice. But I'd you want my records, cool. I'm wit it. I'm funky enough to blow your mind if you listen. My formula will leave you speechless like if a car wreck Had shattered your voice box till its crushed like wes on star trek diggey doc can't fix it so you have to learn sign language Which makes it much harder to rap and deal rhyme damage. I bet you morons didn't even get the reference. And that's the reason why I'm so irreverent. Cuz I'm an Ann Arbor wolverine putting metal in my bone claws. pawning people for paper, because I own y'all. I jabberwock MCs when I make the mic go snicker-snack, Eat em like a snicker snack, more hated than Nickelback Got it covered like nickelbacks, pick six, Feeling like ebola in your diahrrea, yeah, that’s some sick squit, MCs are chicklets: wanna go pop, but never blow up, They just get chewed up and spit quick, Like new loves with liquid DNA in her mouths, Whenever she mates with her spouse for days in her house, But she’s really returning a favor about The time she had him put his face where her babies come out. Now they both got dirty mouths, And since they christened every room, let’s assume that they now got a dirty house. And there is no debatin. My message to those who hatin? Before you ignore me, check your motivations. You listen for hot beats, I listen for cold words Every rhyme I write is for stopping a heart like Goldberg
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Cold World 04:27
COLD WORLD People wonder why I rarely watch the news on television Or when they discuss current events, it’s like I never listen. I ain’t gotta watch a dude like Tavis Smiley first To know the world is messed up and it’s only getting worse. We live in a world of plots and schemes, Where things were set up systematically to stop your dreams, And if you make less than 70 grand your life is miserable, There’s so much doom and gloom around, it’s hard not to be cynical. Don’t be naïve and act like there isn’t a class divide, You judge me by my status and overlook the man inside. A kid from the projects doesn’t have the same access As someone from the burbs with upper middle class parents. It’s like comparing swimming pools to shark-infested waters, Where you have to fight a little harder, and be a little smarter If you want to get out, but then what’s waiting for you? It’s hard to make a job that pay a decent wage employ you. Makes you feel like you wasted four years and all you got’s a piece of paper and debt up to your ears. Everybody looks for someone to blame, Not realizing we’re all pawns in the game. Professor Griff explained it, Our victories are tainted, ‘cause no one expects it of us. You try to hold me down, and have the nerve to call me brother? This is my train of thought, forgive me if I’m rambling, But we’re missing the mark like the first time you throw a javelin. In this new millennium we’re supposed to be post-racial But a black president has everybody most hateful Turn on the television and you see fox news Blaming blacks for everything like many blacks blames jews They forget that my people are a minority There ain’t enough of us to take your spots with no authority It kills me when folk say brothas don’t want to work But they’re afraid we’ll take the jobs and scholarships from all the jerks It’s to the point where many think that they are justified In shooting on sight, without regard for another life, and walking through the suburbs in a hoodie all the while Is a crime punishable by death without a trial. See, all of their perception comes from watching rap videos And movies where the black roles are little more than minstrel shows. And people in the hood won’t give them reasons to think otherwise They think responsibility only happens to other guys. They don’t care about the blight they cause When they spray gang signs on abandoned house walls Or they break into a house just to steal all the coppery Strip off all the siding like that’s not committing robbery Cuz they don’t give a darn if they bring down all of the property Values of the other houses that are kept properly Destroy where they’re at and move to the next like locusts That’s why it’s hard not to think the situation’s hopeless Nations rise and fall like the old religious books foretold Now’s a good a time as any to just consider your soul Whatever you claim. Are you representing the name Or is it in vain? Religion is not a game Most people really only pay their faith lip service Doesn’t matter if you’re fake in synagogues, mosques or churches You’re still a faker. And when it’s time to meet your maker There won’t be no excuses for the path that you’ve been taking Your god knows your heart and your motivations He knows every sin you cover up with false justification He knows about the times you could’ve helped your fellow man But instead chose to help yourself to further selfish plans. Look, I’m not saying this to be deep and clever, This message is so everyone will get their acts together Take a look in the mirror and tell that guy he should do better, And leave mother earth better off than when you met her. Too many people only want to fill their own bellies, Can’t feel good about themselves unless they make someone else jealous. They take from everything and everyone, and never give back Like a parasite, killing everything in its path. And I’m not naming names but if the shoe fits ya, Then you need to go barefoot. See the big picture. This is bigger than you. Be not deceived: god is not mocked, Reap what you sow, karma’s a ______, better watch out. It’s a cold world, place your bets, you’re going all in, No time for stalling; Are you rising, or are you falling? Answer your calling, it’s time to get your act together It’s now or never, take a stand and make the effort
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Double G 03:55
DOUBLE G My greatest goal is to get green like Gordan Gecko and get girls grabbing my gonads, tell them to let go these Golden Graham dudes need to meet a cereal killer When I’m set to socialize, I’m going glam like Phyliss diller Or better yet, like Lady GaGa dancing the Go-Go With a gangsta grill from the underground like fraggles, call her Gobo As far as rap’s concerned, I’m from the Greatest generation I was destined to succeed, I’ve got the greatest expectations I’m getting right money the wrong way, like the Great Gatsby I’ll stunt in a Gas Guzzler that I’ll go get from patsy Lou Williamson, who runs a flint car dealership I’ll Go grand Prix and won’t stop till I finish in First place, I Get in Gear, while yall get in the rear Get With God and while I’m in his good grace I’ll never fear (Until he) gives me green to build a Golden Gate in the slum I’m chewing MCs up to spit them out, like Gatorade gum Good Golly Miss Molly I’ve got a weakness for pretty females, So if you happen to be one, reach me on Google Gmail I like a Ghetto Girl with a Gargantuan gluteus That’s why I married one. Hey honey, blow your boo a kiss I’ve got a flow that pays, And just cuz I’m a good guy, don’t think I won’t leave you stiff like a Gorgon’s Gaze Before you go guerilla warfare you should get gone My most generic line has greater game than your best song. It is what it is, it did what it do I’m still a Family Guy, that’s right: Giggety goo I paint a picture with flows, man, like Gaugin to please ears If you’re a machine, you need to grease gears. Rappas like to drop simple rhymes, but When they get battled They end up eiht like compton’s most, they get gaffled And that’s why I’m hated like Goregeous george For eating all these MC’s like smorgasboards Okay, let me stop talking trash for a rest of this, And give your some encouragement for when life tries to test you, kid. So let me kill all the GobbledyGook Your situation might be crazy and it Probably looks Like you’ll hit rock bottom at the end of your story, yeah, you’re facing Great Giants, but no guts, no glory. You can’t go into combat worried you’ll get defeated. Don’t get spooky, like running from ghouls and ghosts, or You’ll get treated Like a red-headed stepchild: anne of green gables Back to bragging: My style is a cosmic combination Of willpower and imagination, like guy gardner the great guiding light for lost emcees, get a garman. I flip the script and get glamorous like gretta garbo When I’m rich I’ll get generous like that great girl who runs Hapo I get the girls sliding on the floor, like I’m mop and glo But I’ll stop this flow because right now I gotta go
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Acapella Dilemma if you turned off the beat and listened to him acapella, would he still be the best lyricist you've ever heard? or is it just the beat that he chose to rap over that has you all hanging on his every single word? Yo, the other day they had this beatmaking contest for this one rapper's next mixtape, and I guess he was supposed to be the next great big deal, did some cameos with high profile guys with mass appeal, in fact, he headlined a show in Kalamazoo that had my man Baby T...or was it Saginaw U? either way this dude was supposed to be the next hotness,t and now I had the opportunity to make some progress by laying some of my beats on this dude's acapellas. So I entered it, downloaded them and peeped them with my fellas. and did we find this dude to be lyrically blessed? not exactly...let's just say we wasn't impressed. I didn't hear anything on his 13 songs i couldn't hear from my nephew freestyling for fun. (whattup, TDye?) disssapointed is an understatement for how I viewed bruh man, now I'm doubting if I want his voice on my productions... See, the thing that bothers me the most about the fellow is that when i heard him, he was really nothing special. he wasn't wack, he just wasn't that spectacular. I'm used to hearing rappers that attack with that vernacular. I like guys with complex, thought provoking lyrics that speak to deeper things, with wordplay where I can feel it. this dude was saying stuff I would have said in junior high, but he's supposed to be the next breakthrough rapping guy? I don't see it. I even asked my nephew what he thought of him, kinda shocked me when he said "that dude? man he goes hard." but then I took into account my nephew liked them thug rappers with the simple rhymes, cuz the simple minds is what they're after. I ain't trying to knock nobody's hustle. If dude is making moves, then who am I to knock his struggle? oh that's right...I'm the dude making beats for him. I wanna take a pass. I think my tracks are too elite for him. Baby T tried to get me to stay in the game, He said “Yo, even if you think this dude sounds lame, You still oughta do his mixtape, cuz you never know, Who might want to get with you from all of that added exposure. It’s good for business.” And he was right, but I still hesitated. I really didn’t want this dude to be associated With any production from me. It’s the principle. That’d be like a Winans on a song that isn’t spiritual. In the end I decided not to do it. My time is too precious to waste on mediocre music. But I still got the accapella rhymes on my computer. Maybe I’ll change my mind one day and make a new one I might take some beats that I don’t wanna rip, Throw my man’s raps over em and give it as a gift For my nephew, and if he thinks the songs he hears are perfect, Than I guess in the end it will make everything worth it.
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Stop/Go 03:46
STOP / GO Double, an iconoclaste on the mic Makes the beats and rhymes that you’re guaranteed to like Different, not quite the norm, my Style creates a buzz cuz it’s so, fly I, move crowds when I’m on the stage Been doing this since an early age, So, sit back, let me entertain, Stimulate your brain, eliminate the pain Of listening to dumbed down rhymes, if, That’s on your radio all the time. This, Is, a new style for you, You know how I do, times I take losses are few, Ju, the first two letters in my name, True, the facts that I give without shame, You, would do well to hear it, endear it, Let it lift your spirit, Jugghead.s lyrics. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Want good lyrics, yeah we got those People nod their heads when I Drop flows Everyone knows that I Rock shows Stop. Go. Stop Go. Want good lyrics, yeah we got those People nod their heads when I Drop flows Stop. Go. Stop Go. Can I change the style up, do something different? I’m hoarding all my _____s so don’t ask me to give one. Versatility is something that I value, The same old same old is not what I grav to. Hardly ever listen to the same song twice In a row, back to back, unless the song is really nice Or I’m trying to memorize it so I can hum it later While at work, and I’m not allowed to use my music player. J-U-double G is the host like Michael Seacrest, I can run a show like a horse at the Preakness, When its on the quest to win the triple crown, And already won Kentucky, 1 to go, two down, And the third’ll be the sweetest, cuz it means I’m making history. Bigger heart than all of y’all, preordained victory. Yes, that’s the third one, see the correlation? So think about that when you think about racing. Snap, Crackle Pop, Who rocks the spot? I rock the spot. You? I think not. You might get socked and dropped like a rock, I’m dumping lyrics off the top, like a glock As it pops nonstop; make you drop. You shed tears, cus you be in fear when I come near, You be like “I’m out of here,” ciao, You can’t beat my style, how you like me now? That was a quote from a dude in my crew, Couldn’t make it to the song, so this quote will have to do. But you, can still enjoy listening to Q, And run this track back when it’s through, Ju- Quan Donte Williams is the name, Remember that, just in case I get a taste of fame Never sound the same as the others, You’ll soon discover, The best songs come from this brother.
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3Vs. 03:56
3Vs. I ain’t gotta name names; if you’re hearing this, I’m better than you. I’m miles ahead of you like racing cars with lead in my shoe. If you don’t know, you should be getting a clue, like Nancy Drew Buying the boardgame about suspects, murder weapons and rooms. I like Mr. Green for obvious reasons. Mastered the universe Like beast man, double cross me and I’ve got you for treason, And the penalty is exile, while I’m on an Isle with my exes Making them mad cause I’m acting sexist, having them wishing I was in texas, Breaking them bad, like TV shows about crystal meth and heroin, And other illegal medicine. Lyrics are dark like melanin In the skin of a random suntanned africaan black man in a CAT scan, Getting his brain examined. My lyrics burn with the intensity Of a wizard with a flame enchantment. I can’t wait for the day I have to sign autographs cause fame demands it, Something I won’t take for granted. While these major rappers catfight over who wears the top tiara,u I sneak in and eat off their land like I was a squatting farmer. If you say you don’t want complex lyrics to go on Your songs, ‘cause your fans won’t feel it. Then guess what? Your fans are morons. every single one of them. I’m not insulting their intelligence, Cause you already did that for me by refusing to rap with eloquence. I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed A lot of people depend on me. They all have needs, So I’m not trying to get spat up, like pablum, One bad move can mess it up for everybody. Ask Adam. Don’t like that? Then You officially have my permission To put yourself in a sexually compromising position. Sensitive thugs need hugs cuz their feelings are so delicate, But if you’re asking me to give a **** tonight I’m celibate. You claim to speak for me but I didn’t approve the message This is not a campaign and I ain’t trying to get elected. So bump the politics, cuz I really don’t have time for it. When I rap, I bring it to ya, so you better sign for it. I like a woman that does trix with her tongue, like flipping metaphors and lyrics, It’s enough to get me all sprung, make me always want to hear it, And I could get with the hun, but then I’m already married, And it’s enough just to get her done, with the mouth styles that are varied, Cus I can go round and round, In and out with the flow Explore all her sensitive parts and Hit her spot with the flow Put her in the mood for love, and Git her hot with the flow ‘cept when she’s on her monthly, then it’s really not with her flow. Every time I write I Plan to rock you out your pants and sox With lyrics that’ll fry you like with pans and woks While you being more soulsonic than Planet rock’s a paradox So go to another Planet with Spok, I got you like my hands on a glock You best move like the Hands of a clock. This man is a lock to succeed, It’s like getting high of ex, smack and shrooms as opposed to just weed. If you follow this up, it better be with something impressive, But if you can’t think of anything I’ll gladly make some suggestions.
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Chuck Norris 04:24
CHUCK NORRIS Last year the Illuminati recruited me. I almost joined, But they wouldn’t give me free beef jerky, so what’s the point? Doesn’t matter anyway. I’m my own secret society I can order the new world to give me what I want with variety. Those who disrespect must do it quietly, The walls have ears, and If I find out your intent, you’re dying violently. In fact, I know some dudes who’ll run up on you with a staple gun, And pin a sign to you that says you masturbate to naked nuns, Then tie you up and ship you to the Vatican in a steel crate Full of rabid, angry skunks, when they spray you, I hope it feels great. Or put you inside a gorilla suit, gag you and seal it up with some Gorilla Glue, Lock you inside of a cage with an alpha male that’s in heat so you can do what Gorillas do. I mean, you said you were a silverback, so I made you one, It’s like your child finding your loaded choppa just to play with guns. Something bad will happen. Now you’re hating on folks. Why you so mad? What, you can’t take a joke? Get a grip… And I’m the Chuck Norris of this rap isht… If you decide you’d like to go mano a mano, I’ll show you I’m gifted like Feliz Cumpleanos By beating on your head like bongos, I’m the measuring stick Cuz I rule, and you have to take the reign like a poncho, While I chill in a villa like I’m pancho, With donald fagen and walter becker both asking me who’s the gaucho, See, I know snipers who hit marks like Groucho, So keep a safe distance from my scrilla scratch cheese cuz it’s nachos, Or give me a reason like luther to boot ya, then do ya like lex with a luger and shoot ya, So you make the news like a dude in a room with a cougar that knew that she blew like a tuba Your crew is confused like a nudist in zubasz, it’s like I’m explaining anubis to budhists, Can’t figure it out like a fool with a ruler and you just don’t know how to do it, so screw it. *Sigh* you’re blatant ignorance makes me exascerbated, you’re a lot like this song: everything’s exaggerated. but that dude jugghead? Nobody coming close to him He’ll embarrass you in front of your fans…both of them. And I’m the Chuck Norris of this rap isht… I got juice like tupac drinking a tropicana And I'm more gifted than an elf working for poppa Santa When he steals the merchandise and sells it on the black market Where you can get it much cheaper than if you're at target I'm like Usher at Catholic Church making confessions And saying Hail Marys without pac or the outlaws blessing. So Guess what? I'll stretch ya then talk trash like pro wrestlers King of the ring knocking you out with a scepter when the refa Ree's looking the other way. I'm main event, you're undercard. And if you need support I will gladly give you a wonder bra to push up your manboobs. You’re the first rule: nobody talks about you. feathers up your butt because you’re chicken, and I’ll walk around you, Kick your pretty-boy looking tail in any place that is suitable, because I feel like destroying something beautiful. I’d say you were the all singing, all dancing crap of the world, but you can’t sing or dance, so you’re just crap that’s unfurled. and I’m the Chuck Norris of this rap isht. better yet, I’m now the tyler durden of this rap isht...
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Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda… by Jugghead It's the first year of college, and I'm losing my mind, Girls from all over the world, and almost all of them fine. And I'm never concentrating in class, I'd rather think about Several honies shaking datazz at a party I was at, But at my dorm there was even more hotness, To a brotha from the hood, all of them were exotic. There was this Arab Chic. She had some gifts! She graduated, and I think she's now an activist. There was another beauty from the nation of Ghana, I thought she was the bomb, but some other dude got her. I met a dime from the Bahamas, even one from Tibet. But there's one lady in particular I'll never forget. Rich girl from Grosse Pointe. Indian or Pakistani Ex-model type, for which you keep a credit card handy, Eye candy. Made me thank God for Co-ed dorms. Seeing her in tight pajamas, such a treat in the morn. Saw a picture where it's like she couldn't find a tighter dress. She had a sister just as pretty as her – but I digress. And back home I had a squaw, but I was trifling as heck. Every pretty girl I saw, I wanted right in my bed. Including – ooh! Naming names is not something that I wanna do. If you're a pretty girl, and I hung out with you? I wanted you. But this Indian Chick was pick of the list, But she wasn't snobby, acting like I didn't exist. She was very personable, though she talked a little bit, it Seemed like she'd blab her business to anyone willing to listen. She even told me what she liked to do in the sheets, But I was mad, because she never thought to do it to me. And before you try to judge, keep in mind I was a freshman. I was immature as heck, and open to all suggestions. But she was still fine, and I loved being near her. But things between us never got clearer. She wanted me to Hook her up with this dude I knew from the track team, But he wanted another girl, so it was like a bad dream. When the one you're chasing is chasing somebody else, Who is chasing somebody else. None of this would end well. In fact, we fell out over that, but I was wrong, 'cause I wanted her, but had a girl at home all along. Years pass, now I'm in my 4th year at the school, And I'm single, 'cause I set my girl free, like a fool. I thought I could upgrade to a better tenderoni, And eventually I did, but that's a whole different story. I'm in the cafeteria at some dormitory, Trying to get a quick bite before I head to class, When I saw that same chick come and get her food last, And sit off by herself, looking like somebody just passed. Yeah, We broke off on a sour note, but what the hell, bygones. I went up to her table and I played the role of nice Quan. Hey, it's been a while, kid, how do you do? I saw you looking kinda down, what's bothering you? She let me take a seat in front of her, I listened while she went off About some stuff that's on her mind, and I just let her vent off. She made the honor roll, but changed majors, ain't no stopping that. She had some problem with an internship, and on top of that, She was the RA at her dorm, but she felt really bad, cause She partied every night and was setting a bad example. That's not something I advocate, but who was I to judge her? She's still God's child, so I was commanded to love her. I said it's not the end of the world, do better next time. She must have needed advice, because she did accept mine. She thanked me as we left, but to me it's nothing major, Everyone needs someone to be there for them sooner or later. The next time I saw her was a few months after. I'm walking to my dorm when I saw her waiting at the bus stop. Now, here’s a fact provided for you, the campus of my alma mater is divided in two. The music, art and engineering schools are on the north side, where I reside, But ladygirl lived on the central side And never came up north, except for this one occasion, She saw some singer at the music school, now she was waiting For the bus out in the cold, she was shivering and wheezing. It was cold and wet outside, and I could tell that she was freezing. I said, hey, why dontcha catch the bus from my dorm? It's right down the street and you can wait up there where it's warm. She was with it, but she had never been to my spot. So she asked me for a guided tour, I said why not. I showed her all the different rooms on all of the floors, The cafeteria computer labs and so much more. Then we waited for the bus to come, it wouldn't be soon. While we were waiting, she asked if I could show her my room – yeah. This was, like, the single college boy's fantasy. But then she squashed it all by telling me she had a man, and she Was satisfied with him, but then I suddenly began to see, That if she's so content with him, then why's she trying to hang with me? So we go up to my room and started talking… Well, she did all the talking. She was going on and on, and It seemed to me like everything she talked about was sex related, But maybe I was thinking like a hammer trying to nail it. While she talked, she kept rubbing her neck. I asked if I could rub it down, 'cause I could tell she was tense. And I happen to specialize in back rubs and neck massage. I learned to do it, 'cause I heard of all the sex it caused. Though it didn't really work, at least until now. But she didn't have a problem with me rubbing her down. Now, One hand's on the back of her neck. The other hand's On the small of her back. I felt her loosening up. So I keep rubbing, and I'm thinking if I do this enough, Then maybe I could put her in the mood for doing some stuff. If I move a little lower and massage a little slower, I could take her to some places that she's never been befower. 'Cause I knew that if she'd only let me do her, We would write some brand new chapters in that old Kama Sutra. See, I was still a virgin…don't smile. 'Cause I was trying to give virginity away, with some style. And I could've been wrong, could have been all in my mind, But she seemed to be giving me back the same vibe. Have you ever wanted something so bad you had to have it, then Got a chance at it, but would be wrong to take advantage? There was a time I would've jumped at it, and jumped on it, Just because I could have it, and all I had to do was want it. But I wasn't like that anymore. Taking another man's girlfriend would've made me a whore. Also, what if I was wrong, and she rejected my advances? (plus I didn't have no condoms, and I wasn't taking chances.) So I took my hands off her, and we just talked until dawn. She missed her bus, so I ended up walking her home. When she walked through the door, she looked back at me strange, As if she also realized just how close we came To doing something that we soon would regret, well, maybe she would. I'd have probably felt great, so that not happening was real good. but I still believe I could've had her if I asked, and I wanted to ask, because I wanted her bad. But what kind of man would I have been to take advantage, And be the reason why her relationship was damaged? I think a higher power kept me from doing that badness, 'cause since then, the only sex I've had was in my marriage. Which makes the choice I made back then even more valid. Who knows what would have happened if I got married with that baggage? And as for ladygirl? Well, she's doing just fine. She's out in the middle east, now, and she still is a dime. Dunno if she's still with him, but now it's none of my business, This story's finished, and it's time for me to stop reminiscing.
11.
V1 I never was a clubber but I used to go to frat shows In my college days, everytime the campus had those, Gluteyi were phat, tho I never got that close, Tonight I’m hedonistic like I’m running with the rakdos …that was a nerd joke. Google it. This time I’m getting on that flinttown foolishness plus they’re playing Drop That Bass at the Michigan Union, All the girls are on the floor shaking and moving, and I’m perusing and cruising the scene asking the leading freaks if they want to dance, and getting turned down repeatedly, but suddenly, out of nowhere, these two big ladies jump in front of and behind me, and start gyrating. now normally I’m not really into the fatter ones, but what the heck, I’m in a manwich now, time to have some fun they freaked me down, and were gone when the song stopped. thumbs up to my crew, like “that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!” V2 My man is getting married, and guess who’s the best man? I’m getting my groove on at his reception Trying to get my vince Vaughn on it’s a prowl For a pretty little wedding guest who’s feeling my style I feel like coming off like a cheap itchy toupee And get at every girl except the one who caught the bouquet I don’t want her getting any ideas, I’m still a swinging single bacheler who’s only trying to grab a her And ravish her, I’d like to make that occur with this pretty one in lavender Who looks like she’ll require all my staminer. I walk up to her, hey, girl, how ya doin’? This wedding’s got some class, so maybe you and I should truant, And play hookie. You caught my eye like lookie lookie, My bizkit ain’t limp, I’ll do it all for the nookie. She answered me, but her voice was deeper than a man’s. So I cut her off and say there’s been a slight change of plans… V3 Go shawty – it’s ya birthday Go shawty – It’s ya birfday “Quan, stop being such a stick in the mud, You need to get out and be social, so just get in a pub.” Yeah, they finally managed to drag me out to a club, But by now I’m in my 30s and I’m not feeling the buzz I’m posted up at the buffet table, munching a chicken wing Bored as heck, cuz I ain’t out on the floor doing wicked things I’m bout to say forget this and go outside When they play that stevie wonder and dance the electric slide. Mine eyes don’t cry no more Until I see an onion booty gyrating up on the floor. How’d I find that? Yo, I really need to get behind that, My lap forgot what booty felt like, time to remind that. I ask for a dance with the tender, she turns around and says, Of course you can have it. I’m your wife, remember? Uh…yeah I knew it was you. I’m just playin’, But why you never dance like this at home? I’m just sayin’… I don’t want your number, I wanna get on the floor and do my dance. I just wanna shake my butt I don’t wanna take you home, I just wanna get on the floor and do my dance. I just wanna shake my butt I don’t want your number, I wanna get on the floor and do my dance. I just wanna shake my but You don’t have to take me home If you let me get on the floor and do my dance.
12.
Stay 03:42
STAY V1 Cards on the table: I’m fighting an addiction to pornography. it got so bad it got me fired from a job, ‘cause see I was exposed to looking at body parts from an early age, with Jet’s beauty of the month. i turned the page of mama’s fredericks of hollywood catalogs and dad’s video stash. lessons from womanizing uncles made it really go bad, but it got full blown up in college, wasted hours surfing porn on the net. i couldn’t stop it. it probably skewed my whole world view of women. though I tried to show respect because they’re all God’s children, it was usually after giving them the once over and rating them. (I hope this confession don’t elicit too much hate from them). anyway, i think i would have rather have died, than lose my job messing with porn and have to tell my wife why. Wondering what can i do, I'm in a church, praying, when in the back of my mind, I hear a voice saying... V2 So you might ask, what does God have to do with this? Well, I’m a follower of Christ, despite this foolishness. Matter of fact, jehovah claimed he as his a long time ago. but I strayed away from that when I took time to grow. Trying to know my own identity, that’s how i fell victim to all the sins that were tempting me. It had me to the point where even when I tried to quit I always came back. It was my control and my release when life treated me bad, Just like a fiend with his crack. i thought marriage would solve it, but when me and wife had problems, guess what would be calling? and now it just cost me a job and wifey’s angered, on the verge of demanding a divorce and I can’t blame her. So now I’m at the altar wondering how I can fix this, and I swear, as God as my witness, i heard him saying... V3 (Cairo) I’m feeling your pain. I knew a guy in a similar situation Who was facing the same issue as you, cause he was wasting his time and inheritance chasing the pleasures of the Flesh but instead it left him empty like a president’s desk after he’s voted out. The showing out had to come to an end, but he knew even at rock bottom you can go home again and trade those tattered rags in for a suit that’s clean. don’t believe me? read luke 15, and let Jehovah tell you...
13.
CAN’T GO HOME Sometimes people ask me what’s up with an M2S reunion? I say you’re gonna have to ask those other 3 dudes, when The egos and pride get put to the side, Only then will you again see the L-Raizaz ride. It’s been a long time since 1989 When L-Hood was first founded. We was trying to shine As four nerds from the hood trying to find a place to fit in. Where we would be ourselves and not kiss any butt to get in. We tried to find a crew that had a few pre-reck-wits: That rocked them video games before everyone else did, That loved real hip-hop, like Tribe called questes, Collected Transformers, and scortched the basketball netses. That had college dreams of working big money professions, And stayed out of trouble, so their parents saw them as blessings. We just wanted somewhere we could belong, But couldn’t vibe with other cliques because the feeling was wrong, and I… Can’t Go Home Again, Longfellow was the school that ruled, and L-Hood was the zone. Can’t Go Home Again, Now the school is closed, and nobody calls L-Hood Home. The summer of 93 was a pinnacle year, Will hanging at Jon’s set the whole thing in gear. Dev came all the way up from the dirty to hang Every Saturday the four of us were doing our thang. We saw Breed at the riverfront. Tribe on the Southside. Chronic and Illmatic were the hottest tapes in Jon’s ride. Had a ton of fun watching Webber get drafted, While playing Metroid on Super NES, getting blasted. We drank crystal Pepsi, Faygo had Arctic Sun. We ate Salt and vinegar Chips watching marathons Of transformer cartoons. We played basketball, The world was ours, like we could reach out and grab it all. But by far the best and most fun that we had was When we recorded the Straight From The L double album. We all thought the good times would never stop. And now old tapes and memories are all that we’ve got, so I… Can’t Go Home Again, Longfellow was the school that ruled, and L-Hood was the zone. Can’t Go Home Again, Now the school is closed, and nobody calls L-Hood Home. Was Phalanx I-N-T the beginning of the end? When we became business partners, did we stop being friends? It wasn’t like when we did shows in our college days, Passing out Reach For the Rewind, now the times have changed. When we went down to Atlanta, it was all business, Or talking with our women, stead of enjoying the visit, And it fell apart from there, things started to get heated, Lotsa strife with wives and girlfriends, like what broke up the beatles, Oh No! we vowed to be best friends for life, Now we can’t even get a “like” on our facebook sites. And it saddens me that the mighty four-man crew Has basically been cut in half and reduced to two. Now, I know we all got lives, wives, kids and careers, But don’t just throw away this thing we’ve been building for 20 years! Yo, don’t worry. Until the band gets back together, I’m still claiming M2S. L-Hood forever. Although I… Can’t Go Home Again, Longfellow was the school that ruled, and L-Hood was the zone. Can’t Go Home Again, Now the school is closed, and nobody calls L-Hood Home. Hey, remember when we used to play Phantasy Star Onlie every Tuesday on that old Dreamcast? Those were the days…
14.
I'll let you all argue over who the bestest is, I'll be busy messing with some girls with big breastesess I'm trying to get brain like the scarecrow of oz So lady you should maybe get with a Mack like t-boz Where I'm from I was supposed to be dead by 20 So now that I'm almost 40, I'm playing with house money. By the way, what happened to the last one who tried to stop I? Put him to sleep like my name was carbon monoxide when you Turn on the car go, shut the garage door Inhale, while you wondering whatcha dying for Dudes be all on google looking up how to make metaphors But if they stayed in school they never would have needed lessons or Guidance. call me your highness Cuz I be on that fly ish. wanna see me? Look up in the sky, kid.t See I can rap over trap or boom bap, urban pop G funk or crunk so how can y'all assume that I only got one style? That be like claiming I run marathons and falling out after just one mile. I keep metaphors stored on my iPhone, imagine that. Therefore, Any topic you can name there's a rap for that. Power punclines like if packiou was a poet Have your brain hemorraging and u o e n o it You be all on dr oz asking what the hell is wrong with you But you should die so I can write this dedication song to you. After all why can't I make money off your memory? The Wallace and shakur estates did it and did it splendidly. Can't pigeonhole my style because I'm everywhere like Applebee's Thinking you're keeping up with my verbal workout is insanity. In February 2014 mackelmore inspired me, Now everyone that wins an award owes me an apology. kick you off my friend list, seal it with a french kiss you can be a god, cuz I'm beyond that - endless. pick one, dream, death destiny despair, delirium or desire, where you wanna go, I'm there Uck it. I'll shove a mic down your gullet I'm different, like a black man with a mullet. Me myself and I are like a supergroup cuz we the best.u Shoulda been the fifth member of slaughterhouse like niño bless. mental like Aspbergers. i mass murder a fat burger, like Ham burglar. yall are revolting like nat turner you can't cure my sick style. a wack resistant virus I can break your achy heart like Miley did billy ray Cyrus.: if i say so myself, i’m a master of rapping words hate on meee like i’m Doug Nguyen: flappy bird. free downloads from me’s a franchise: angry birds Why? Cause I'm a legend in the Midwest: Larry Bird. Sharpshooter, hit man killing all these words with Killer associates that do first degree murder Get it? I bet it's prob'ly over your head Like your hand when you're alone in your bed, Dreaming of surfboards. Cowabunga girl, but don’t try to ride the red wave when you get the worm from a grandmaster of sexay. You'll be screaming dreaming under the stares like he's Wes crave Have you nervous like you didn't study and its test day Im looking at them cougars after they be catching menopause when they still make the men all pause, wishing they could get the drawls forgive me for my mental flaws, I'm wearing out my pencil, cause my dentist wears a chain and has a bentley, call it dental floss I wannna be like him so now I'm asking what the rental costs, and if I can't afford it, I'm like Jada cuz I'll set it off. I skate through lines like federov, me and my crew been making moves, get out my face. who the hell you think you telling off? Chooto matte kudasai, you’ll never be as cool as I, Because you’re just a maggot, and I’m Ron Oneil: Superfly. Better yet, I’m super duperb fly, and I’m ginuwine, like I was friends with Timothy Mosely, I’m getting mine waiting at the finish line, where you at, slowpoke? Leno ain’t got nothing to do with me cause I’m no joke I’m Ming the Merciless meeting the Mandarin: kiss the ring. And I’ll never care who is the king of these different scenes. All y’all killers sing about is wicked things, I’ll squit on you like what a pigeon brings, cuz you ain’t saying nothing interesting.

about

I had stumbled across a now-defunct online beatmaking software, which was flash-based. I was playing around with it using some songs that I had always wanted to sample but never had a convenient way to. I liked how a few of them came out, and it inspired me to write some new songs to them. These are those songs.

This is definitely my rawest album. You could technically say it's a mixtape. I didn't – and in a lot of cases couldn't – refine the music and give it more polish, and the lyrics cover some serious subject matter that will probably get me in hot water with some people in my circle, whether it be the secret addiction that almost cost me my marriage in “Stay,” my...interesting (to say the least)...encounters with a ladyfriend at college in “Coulda Shoulda Woulda,” or the status of my old rap crew M2S in “Can't Go Home.” and my opinions on a variety of topics in “Cold World” are probably going to rub a lot of different people the wrong way. I'm putting it all out there this time, consequences be damned. I've also got my usual brag/battle tracks and lyrical tour de forces, but if you listen closely to tracks like “3vs” you might find my opinion of rappers who use oversimplified lyrics to appeal to the lowest common denominator of rap fan. Here's a hint: it's not very favorable.

Musically, like I said, these are samples I've always wanted to rap over. They cover everything from 1980's smooth jazz, to classic movie and JRPG soundtracks. There are a couple of tracks guest produced by Waxo The Overlord and Maverick “Baby T” Turner, and I also rap over one of my favorite beats from one of the true legends of hip-hop, De La Soul.

credits

released August 29, 2014

All songs written and performed by Jugghead
all songs produced by Jugghead, except for "Stay" (produced by Maverick 'Baby T' Turner), "Coulda Shoulda Woulda" and "Practice Shots" (produced by Jonathan 'Waxo the Overlord' Mitchell)

For promotional use only.

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Jugghead Flint, Michigan

Jugghead Green is Quan's musical alter-ego. He is Quan's unrestrained psyche, speaking out on whatever is on his mind whenever he feels like it, without the restraint or tact Quan would normally use. Jugghead can say the things Quan only wishes he could say, and can talk about the things Quan only wishes he could talk about. ... more

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