The Phlegm

v2
I got a metaphor for every one of your woman's pubic hair follicles
MC's put jokes in their raps but it's their styles that are the most comical
Their lyrics would still be wack even if I said it in a duet with
Jay-Z, Nas, Common, Eminem, Lil Wayne, Ludacris and Method.
You need to read my book, like Tom Cruise read Dianetics,
Change your life beliefs and rep it on oprah's couch for extra credit.
This gift is my profession, so if you want to help me sell it,
Then when you see the media, you tell it that I accept both cash and debit.
Money Orders, too. Jugghead officially endorses Moneygram,
But he'll also take Western Union if you're sending more than a hundred grand.
Some rapper's CD's are big budget flops like Ahnuld in the running man,
They're feminine to me, and I look at them like I'm the son of sam.
If you're the type that enjoys clever wordplay in your music
When you're hearing something new everytime you listen to it,
Then you've come to the right place. I'm like a Mensa Member
That knows the square root of pi to the nearest 20 digits, but for some reason can't remember.

I've been ripping ever since "Can I kick it"
Risk it
Did it
Mouth full of phlegm, so I might as well spit it.

Nowadays dudes wear girly jeans and put Mohawks on their heads.
That's like a woman with a long midsection and stubby legs,
Or a bad driver only concerned with turning left, either way,
It doesn't look right. I think they brainwash all these keds
With a tub of Woolite. That's why you see their pants saggin'
'cause in prison, wearing pants in that manner make you a ******
Well, let's say you're not a man, then. Furthermore, why you bother to
Run from cops with your pants down? Are you the world's fastest waddler?
A lot of folk to me are toddlers: I want to train their potty mouths
Or pied pipe 'em, 'cause they're a bunch of followers.
So make your mind up to memorize this manifesto,
While the brother with the best flow moonlights like ms. Depesto.
I dye harder than women who change their hair color every hour.
I chill like Rob G, and snap at clowns who claim they got the power.
And I'm not addressing anyone specifically,
But if the slipper fits for thee, why dontcha wear the matching slip for me?